Just for Parents
You may not like this, but most kids who are disorganized have a parent who is disorganized. Even parents who think they are organizational geniuses may actually be organizational nightmares. Just remember not to over- or micro-organize your child. Whatever system you choose to use has to make sense to your child or it won’t succeed.
Consistency. Your expectations and directions must be consistent. Never forget to check their homework, remind them of their chores, etc.
Lazy Kids. There is no such thing. If you go around muttering that your kid is just being lazy by not keeping his room clean or turning in his homework, change your thinking. Labeling something is the weakest theory. If you think a child is lazy, ask yourself, “What is my solution for that? How am I going to de-lazy this child?” It’s more productive to think of theories that lead to solutions that will actually help the child. Give your child the respect and courtesy you’d expect from your boss. It is your job to teach this person how to become a functioning adult, so problem-solve — don’t label.
Too Much to Do. Many people think having back-to-back extracurricular activities keeps kids out of trouble. For many kids it simply adds stress. Most kids should keep extracurricular activities down to one at a time: “Either you play soccer or be in chorus.” Social activities during the school week need to be kept to a minimum, too. And video games should be limited to evenings when there is no school the next day, or to a maximum of a half hour on school nights. (I’ve found this works as a great reward.)
Homework. Some kids need a break when they get home from school. Others need to keep the momentum going or they will never be able to re-engage in their homework. Talk with your child and figure out what his or her schedule will be, then stick to it.
Be Positive. Griping and yelling at a kid never accomplishes anything other than raising your blood pressure and stressing out the child. Yes, it’s frustrating to be the parent of a child who can’t organize his own stuff, but imagine how frustrating it is to be a kid whose only interaction with his parent revolves around everything he “has” to do. Lighten up. Enjoy your kids and the time you have together. Praise them often. Treat them with respect while guiding and teaching them to make good choices.
Exhaustion. Some kids are just more challenging than others. Some parents have more stamina than others. In the end, though, if you are constantly exhausted from trying to keep your child on track. I highly recommend seeking professional help. Always, always start by having a licensed psychologist test your child for any learning or behavioral issues. A licensed psychologist can then direct you to your next step. Don’t be too proud to get help.
Rewards. Would you go to work if you didn’t get a paycheck? There is nothing wrong with rewarding accomplishments.